Manitoba Bland & Boring? Heck No!

Middle of the road economy. Middle province. And even middle politics. But that doesn’t men that we are average, and Manitoba certainly isn’t boring. In fact, we are downright odd! You want proof that we are not bland and boring? Read along.

Slurpee Capital of the World

Yes, that’s us. For over 22 consecutive years, Manitoba (and Winnipeg) owns the crown as the Slurpee Capital of the World. We consume more Slurpees per capita than any other location, according to Slurpee seller, 7-11. Consider that we are a province where winter lasts almost six months and temperatures don’t plummet to minus 35. They hover there. Yet, summer or winter, we down immense amounts of this frozen flavoured slush! According to 7-11, the crown isn’t anywhere close to being in jeopardy from challengers. We’re not bland and boring, but you may question our sanity.

Polar Bears and Sweltering Heat

This isn’t exactly what nature aficionados anticipate. Polar bears are…well, polar. They live and thrive in harsh winter conditions, swimming in the ocean with temperatures below -40. They loathe the heat. Yet, in late summer, hundreds of polar bears lounge in Churchill, waiting for ocean ice to form. That’s northern Manitoba. In the south of Manitoba, in July and August, temperatures regularly hit +35C. Even up north, they can reach +30C. So, it’s not an enigma, it’s an oddity. Typical Manitoba.

We Celebrate Snakes, Mosquitoes and Rocks

Every spring, hundreds of thousands of harmless red-sided garter snakes emerge from dens in Narcisse simultaneously. In nearby Inwood, tens of thousands start the party in May. Actually, it’s an orgy. As the snakes emerge from the winter dens, they seek out the unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on perspective) females, and dozens of males try to mate with her simultaneously. Remember, it’s Manitoba in May, it’s cool, snakes are cold-blooded, so there’s a survival instinct here, too.

While the world slowly embraces and understands bisexuality, here in Narcisse, the snakes practice it for thousands of years. Some males, desperate to find warmth, pretend to be female so the males will wrap themselves around this fake bisexual. Unfortunately, there’s risk. The mob can get so aroused that they actually suffocate the female or wannabe female.

Then, just miles down the road from the snakes, Komarno erected a giant statue, celebrating its hordes of mosquitoes. And, nearby, a town celebrates a curling rock. Even more close to the earth, Gladstone’s monument is—you guessed it—a Happy Rock statue.

Again, not bland and boring. A little lacking in self-awareness, though?

Manitoba Has Noxious, Invasive Canadians

Canada is known to be friendly and welcoming. The world loves Canada. And Manitoba boasts “Friendly Manitoba” on its licence plates, “Heart of Canada” as its slogan. But millions of noxious residents, listed in some places as “invasive,” make up Manitoba’s diversity. They are Canada geese, so numerous that most people don’t want them to live nearby. Messy, noisy, aggressive, Canada geese demonstrate every quality that no Manitoban desires. Yet, being on the busiest flyway in the world for these birds, Manitoba houses them and welcomes them.

We Have the Slowest Floods in the World

In 1950, the Red River flooded, causing catastrophic damage to Winnipeg and surrounding areas. In response, we built the Winnipeg Floodway, but, in 1997, an even bigger flood threatened to engulf Winnipeg. These floods eclipsed the huge flood of 1826 in damage. Floods in 2009 and 2011 caused major issues. Yet, unlike almost all other floods, including the Biblical ones, ours typically are lethargic giants. Over weeks, the flood crest creeps northward toward Winnipeg, every day bringing new threats. Yet, we rarely experience flash floods, so these spring monsters take their time, allowing us to prepare.

Again, oddly, but not odd for Manitobans, many of us kind of embrace the flood, so we can volunteer and help our neighbours. Consider flood volunteering a little like bar-raising bees of pioneer days.

In Minitonas, torrential rains caused overland flooding in the town. Hundreds of people immediately volunteered to help out, as if they were going to a fair or festival.

Ok, so floods in Manitoba really are bland and boring. Well, bland and sluggish, but not so boring.

Now away from geographical and natural oddities to some of our human oddities.

One Company Owned Rights to All of Manitoba

The first province to join Confederation after Canada’s initial “get together,” one company once owned all of the province and a lot more territory.  That was the Hudson Bay Company, granted by the king of England the right to this huge fur trade region. Of course, the British government conveniently ignored the fact that the First Nations Indians already possessed the continent thousands of years before the white population claimed it and sold it. Is that the real definition of the obnoxious phrase, “Indian giving?”

Charity Bikes Stolen, Charity Bikes Donated

In 2026. Two people, biking across Canada to raise awareness for mental health, lost their bicycles. Someone stole both. A real black eye for Winnipeg. But within days, Manitobans donated new bikes, volunteered and donated to the cause. Then, the first bike was recovered and delivered to the couple.

Moose Rescued by Hunter

There is a certain irony or fairness when a bear attacks a hunter trying to kill him, or fish jump into a boat of fishermen. But, last year, a hunter in Nopiming Park rescued a moose from freezing waters. That’s an almost 1,000 kg animal, not known for being friendly. Moose hunting also is Manitoba hunters’ favourite quarry. So we have a hunter, fresh out of moose hunting season, rescuing a moose.

“Coat all rocks with a non-slip surface!”

I am not diminishing the heartbreak that these people experienced when their children sipped into the fast moving waters of Nutimik Lake, in Nopiming Park. Two boys drowned when they fell from the rocks near the falls and were swept away. Yers earlier, another person drowned in the same area. But to suggest that MORE warning signs should be put up and the rocks covered with a non-slip coating is beyond odd. There are 100,00 lakes in Manitoba hundreds more rivers and creeks. 650,000+ square kilometers of territory. And we should mark all danger points? Others say we should have lifeguards wherever there is swimming.

These responses hearken to another person from Alberta who claimed wood ticks ruined the family outing. Her cry? There should be more warning signs. So we should put up waning signs for mosquitoes, spiders and ants, too?

Province Founded By Traitor

Hanged as a traitor by the federal government fifteen years after he led the establishment of Manitoba as a province, Louis Riel later received recognition as the founder of the province. Yet, he never received a posthumous pardon, in spite of several efforts to do so. So was he a traitor because he led the rebellion against the unjustness of British and Canadian laws, or  was he a Metis hero who stood up for Manitoba? The jury, it seems, is still out for many people. But one thing is certain: Manitoba owes its existence to him.

Helping each other

While we do hold the title as the one of two of the most charitable provinces, we are more than that. Carving out corporate donations and church donations, Manitoba is one of the most charitable and volunteering centres in North America.

Want proof of our outreach and caring? Recently, a passerby in Winnipeg observed police questioning a homeless man in our brutal winter. Rather than walking away, he lied to the police. “Yes, he is with me.” This saved the man from being taken to a shelter and soon released again. He took the man home, where he lived with Pat McCllum for three months. Clearly, a “Les Miserables” experience.

That’s Manitoba. We step up when people need help.

Immigrant Centre Volunteers

While our not-so-friendly neighbours to the south, and many European countries attempt to limit, thwart or even reverse immigration, Canada and Manitoba take a polar opposite approach. Yes, Canada invited more immigrants and refugees, per capita, than any other country, world-wide, every year. In fact, more in absolute numbers than almost every other country.

Manitoba’s Immigration Centre sees scores of volunteers help to acclimatize newcomers to the province. Aid for shopping, education, housing, health, transportation, learning the language and are just a few of the tasks.

Newcomers are more than welcome. They are embraced.

The Forks

More than just a location, the Forks historically is a meeting point.

For hundreds to thousands of years longer than white settlers have lived in North America, the Forks hosted indigenous gatherings. Bands and tribes met to barter and trade, party and prepare for the upcoming seasons.

Then white settlers developed it as a hub for transportation. Winnipeg grew around the Forks.

Next, it developed as a tourist and recreation spot, with numerous attractions and appeal.

Now, it returns to its roots, celebrating the First Nations history and its geographical importance. But right on the edge of the Forks, the Museum for Human Rights tells the world of our goal of being inclusive, fair and welcoming.

That’s just a partial list of Manitoba’s oddities. Bland and boring? You judge. Does it sound like we are?